THE AGE PREDICAMENT! I am still Young!

Today I will discuss with you a topic that would be on a lighter side to make you smile as I understand that you are in the middle of a hectic week.

A little boy once asked a person standing on a four-way crossing, “Uncle, I have missed the direction, can you please help me?”

It did not go well with the guy standing at the crossroads, he said, “I am not an uncle, I am very young. Rather call me brother.”

When people are young they form a dislike when they see old people and the way they talk and behave. But as the clock begins to tick and their age increases, they become anxious and uncomfortable.

“Will I become old, too like the old man in my neighborhood?” the young man begins to worry. Then he shrugs off that feeling getting scared, “I am young now, why should I worry?”

The so-called intelligent men found a method to divide all the people into three groups; young, middle age, and the old. I cannot yet figure out what is meant by the middle-aged category? Maybe, it means neither here nor there. But then there are no criteria set to decide which age group fits what category. People who are in the young category do not like to move into the middle age category. And the people in the middle age category are scared even to think about the last category.

The people who run beauty parlors derive great benefit out of that. People whose skin begins to fade, their hair color starts to become white, they take the refuge of the parlor. The lady goes into the parlor as a 50-year woman but when she comes out she becomes a 20-year blonde.

It is as if the beauty parlor owner would ask her if you want to look like a 40-year-old, it will cost you 500 Rs, to look like a 30 year will cost you 1000 Rs and become a 20-year-old you will have to pay 5000 Rs.

It puts the husband of the lady who has now become a 20 year blonde in a very precarious situation. If he goes to a hotel with her 20-year-old wife, people will think that the man is the father of the 20-year-old. So he tells his wife to apply some chemical colors on his hair to at least hide his age to some degree to retain some pride. And the man has to be particular about a few things like when his wife gets ready and asks him, “How do I look?”. He has to look at her eyes and smile saying, “You look so young and beautiful in this dress!”

The young woman in the house has to be careful of her mother-in-law, too. If her mother-in-law who turned 20 after coming from the parlor wore that tight T-shirt and the small shorts then it would make the young woman look older than her mother-in-law. So she has to be particular about her preparations as well.

Then there is the album or photograph tragedy. If a woman looks at her photograph of younger age she feels sorry for herself as if she has committed a crime because she has grown up.

When data is collected for people in different organizations, most of the people provide all the information but they skip the column where it is mentioned “Date Of Birth”. They just mention the Date and the Month but the year is left blank as if they say, “Make your own (positive)assumptions!”

In sports when the profile and stats of a sportsman are shown on the television, the father tells his son, “Look! he is just 18 years old and he is representing the country and you are 20 years and are still wasting your time watching television.”

The son tells his father, “This guy seems to have taken birth on 29th February, the leap year, so every four years the count of his age increases by one.”

“What do you mean by Are you 35 years old?” one person told another. “I am not 35 years old, I am 35 years young.”

The parents teach children right from their childhood to hide their age. “We are going on the train and a child below 5 years can travel for free.” the father tells her daughter. “So if the ticket checker asks about your age, tell him that you are 4 and a half years old.”

I phoned my friend one day and joked with him, “You have become so old now, you do not even call me on weekends.”

He got irritated, “I am not old, I am still very young”

“Alright then, can you take a selfie of your hair and then based on their colour, I will decide your age,” I told him and he got embarrassed.

The two things which irritate people most these days is their hair loss as well as the colour of their hair turning to white although their age is less. The colour of hair could be hidden by applying chemicals but the number of hair can surely not be hidden. That is the reason why doctors who claim to prevent hair loss have people waiting in the queue(although there are not much hairs left on their head).

But when people turn old, they still find methods to enjoy as young people do. They arrange kitty parties with people in their group and arrange picnics with them. But the healing balm in the form of Whatspp, Facebook and Instagram helps them to stay socially connected making them feel that they are still very active and also liked by all.

But the predicament continues. Are there any specific parameters which can decide whether the person is young, middle-aged or old? Age, fitness, vitality, beauty may be the criteria that might help. But this is a high-tech age. It would be much better if there is some electronic gadget or instrument which if a person holds for some time in his hand will display in color, “RED COLOR OLD(worn out)”, “ORANGE COLOUR MIDDLE AGE(neither here nor there)”, “GREEN COLOUR YOUNG(the immatures)”

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